Wednesday, July 31, 2002

"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire
cat in a tree.'Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?' was his response.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.'"
-- Lewis Carroll, From Alice in Wonderland

Sunday, July 07, 2002

"Since that moment it is all up with me. My last remaining shreds of
happiness and self-confidence have been blown to the winds, I can do no
more. Yes, I am unhappy; I freely admit it, I seem a lamentable and
absurd figure even to myself. And that I cannot bear. I shall make an
end of it. Today, or tomorrow, or some time, I will shoot myself.
My first impulse, my first instinct, was a shrewd one: I would make copy
of the situation, I would contribute my pathetic sickness to the swell
of literature of unhappy love. But that was all folly. One does not die
of an unhappy love affair; one revels in it. [ . . . ] But what is
destroying me is that hope has been destroyed with the destruction of
all pleasure in myself.I cease to write, fling the pen from me -- full
of disgust, full of disgust! I will make an end of it -- alas, that is
an attitude too heroic for a dilettante. In the end I shall go on
living, eating, sleeping; I shall gradually get used to the idea that I
am dull, that I cut a wretched and ridiculous figure."

-Thomas Mann, The Dilettante, in Stories of Three Decades