Tuesday, July 25, 2006

the only thing that really matters is being happy. i dont mean that in a hedonistic way, like you should get wasted all the time. i'm just saying, it's easy to get in a rut where all you think about is the future; but the future never turns out the way you expect. it's not a news flash, i know. but maybe it should be. then maybe it wouldn't be so easy to forget. -from mabye a miracle; by brian strause

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I am the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Chesire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artifical warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villians in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who looks to very vibrant and you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with everyday that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible, getting covered over more thickly and darkness, coats and coats of darkness that are going to suffocate me in the sweltering heat of the summer that I can't even see anymore, even though I can feel it burn.
-- prozac nation

Sunday, July 02, 2006

“I am not saying religion is bad. When it turns men and women inward and helps them realize that they are…great…, that there is an ocean of love and silence deep within the heart, then it is useful. But where it divides people against one another, where one person is led to believe that he is saved and another is damned, or where it leads a person to believe that true happiness will be found only in an afterlife, then it is harmful. Each life on Earth is very precious. It is a wonderful thing to be alive.”
--Christopher Pike, Remember Me 2: The Return
"If someone's walking in the hills and discovers a seam of gold, I think if they walk away without digging it, they're just stupid. When something that lucky happens to you, thinking it's unfair for you to strike it rich all by yourself doesn't mean you're selfless. When great happiness unexpectedly swoops down on people, they suddenly turn into cowards. Snatching happiness takes a lot more courage than enduring unhappiness. When you find something precious, you have to hold on to it with all your might and never let it go, whatever else you may lose. After all, there are lots of people who die witout ever finding something that's really precious to them. So don't blow your big chance."

When I finished speaking, I turned my back on my mother and started walking away. What a classy thing for a first-grader to say, and to her own mother at that! I turned over the words of my speech in my head as I slowly made my way home, thinking I was pretty hot stuff. That last "don't blow your big chance" was really good, the way it sounded like a killer phrase from a movie or something. Having a cool one-liner at the end made the preachy part before it really come alive. But delivering it with my backpack on was kinda lame---maybe took the impact out of it?... ~pg.27 Kamikaze Girls, by Novala Takemoto
Every now and then I'll be so sad and so lazy that I'll pay someone to interpret it all in needle and ink. "Do what you like," I say, because the eventual pattern is irrelevant. I just want to feel the needle and see, next day, next week, forever, the reminder that it really happened, that I really was that sad. Because when I'm on the upswing, manic as anything, I can't imagine that I will ever come down."

- from "Thin Skin" Emma Forrest.