Excerpt from "'Jiving' with Your Teen," by Seaton Smith
"Anyone who has observed the youths of American knows they frequently take liberties with the English language in order to flaunt their illiteracy and impress the opposite sex. As a parent, it is vital that you understand their vocabulary - like a cheetah, your teen can sense your confusion and fear. When you master thein vocabulary you can finally tell them, in their own language, that the police at the front door are for them.

Here are a few mandatory words and phrases to use when speaking to your teen:

Dope - A slang word that refers to every teenager's horrific need to associate what he or she considers 'good' with deadly narcotics. When this phrase is uttered, do not panic. Simply reply with: 'Yeah, dog, I got the stash up my cavity.'

It's all good - A shortened term from its original version, 'It's all good when you're employing illegal narcotics and eganing in immoral sexual activity.' Your teen doesn't mean that everything in the world is 'good.' He or she means that everything in the poverty-stricken inner-city ghetto is 'good.'

Cool - One of the most enduring slang terms in American culture. The word "Cool" has seen many forms. As a youth, you probably used the term sensibly: 'Hot dog! It's cool outside, Mabel.' Your teenager uses it in a different context:

'That's Cool.'
Translation: Marijuana is being smoked.

'That is so Cool.'
Translation: A lot of marijuana is being smoked.

'Not Cool.'
Translation: The dog is being smoked."